Melanie Cohn, LMSW
32841 Middlebelt Rd, Suite 409
Farmington Hills, MI 48334

Divorce Help

How does one ask for a divorce? Is there a right way to ask for a divorce?

While there are many ways in which to do this, I do have a few suggestions that may help you avoid a nasty divorce.

First off, some common-sense things to do:

#1 Be Respectful of Your Spouse

  • Do not leave a message on voicemail.
  • Do not leave a note through email.
  • Do not text a "goodbye" message.
  • Do not ask your mother to do it for you.

O.k., that was pretty simple and obvious advice when asking for a divorce. On to more serious suggestions.

#2 Do Not Play the "Blame-Game"

What is The Blame-Game? That is when you sit your partner down to ask him for a divorce and proceed to accuse and attack him at every turn. Example:"I want a divorce! You never listen to me, you never take care of the kids, you are irresponsible with money, I don't love you anymore....."(get the drift?)

Be respectful and sincere. Mostly importantly use "WE" statements as much as possible.

Replacing the word "I" for "we" keeps the conversation calm and directed. Your spouse won't feel accused or attacked if you add yourself to the mix. Using the term "we" when asking for a divorce means you are accepting some responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage. Here are some non-attacking phrases to use when asking for a divorce:

  • "We don't get along anymore."
  • "We don't communicate well with each other."
  • "We seem to want different things out of life."
  • "We should probably talk about divorce."

If you live in the metro Detroit area and are looking for a therapist to assess your symptoms, call 248-821-2957.